The Mayflower Compact

When I lived in Beirut, for some reason, I never questioned the presence of a hotel called the Mayflower. I was more enamored of the fact that the Mayflower was directly across the street from the Napoleon Hotel, and that the bar at the Mayflower was this sad, wood-paneled imitation of an English hunting lodge called the Duke of Wellington. (And, in case you don't remember your European history, it was the Duke of Wellington who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. For his trouble, the British bestowed upon him their highest honor: they named a really ill-conceived concoction of beef, foie gras, and pastry.) At the moment, however, the Mayflower Hotel gives me pause. Not that American institutions and cultural references aren't all over Beirut, but this one is just too freakishly random and, well, Protestant. Some Lebanese Christians will occasionally embrace American evangelical propaganda (my students in Beirut were all convinced that Comrade Obama was a secret Muslim) but, in general, Protestantism really hasn't had a good run in the Leb. The American University of Beirut started its life as the Syrian Protestant College, and while the college had a missionary mandate, and everyone was required to go to daily services, the only thing they ever converted anyone to was Darwinism. One way or another, the name Mayflower just seems like a weird, free-associative reference to the American cultural tradition. Which I guess is cool and all, but I don't really want to believe that the name is that meaninglessly Dada. I guess it works the other way, as well. Why, after all, do we call the poultry that we eat on Thanksgiving a turkey? Were the Pilgrims secret Muslims sent to infiltrate our country? Emissaries of Ottoman power? Are we all just serving the interests of the Shadow Caliphate?

Something to ponder while I begin the countdown to Beirut. Seven days.